Awakening
by AzureF
Summary: What does one think about, when they have but a few precious minutes left to live?


_A short one-shot I wrote in the spur-of-the-moment. It has nothing to do with any existing characters,I don't really think... except for really blurry reference and stuff.  
I was in a speculative mood today! Yay!_

_Disclaimer: IZ and Irkens and stuff belong to Jhonen, not me. Me no owny, thogh me wishy much I did._

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I woke up.

That's the best way to explain it, I suppose, waking from a deep sleep and all. I had never realized before exactly how much power it had had over me, how much of my actual life had revolved around that small object, how much of my true personality had been subverted and twisted into something… different, by the small package of wires and metal that had been with me from the instant I was 'born' and had been there ten minutes before my death.

I only had nine minutes left, and I winced slightly in pain as the blood flowed freely down my conspicuously bare back, dripping in a spatter of noise upon the metal floor below me, mocking me, telling me that I still had life, still had something that they were trying to take away, that I, in some sick sense, wanted them to take away so I could finally rest for once. I was tired of my life, tired of serving, tired of being nothing but another face among the mass that had become the empire.

Their eyes looked down on me, those millions, all cold, all jeering, all laughing at my weakness as I felt my legs slowly begin to give way under me, forcing me to sink down into the pool of my own blood, my hands rubbing my temples slightly as I stared back at them, my wide eyes not exactly filled with hatred, but a grim mix of resentment and curiosity.

Strange, that now I could see them for what they really were.

They were all one entity, all one part, one cell of a larger organism that did nothing but swallow others like itself, gathering strength and influence as it did so. Now that I was, in a sense, free of my own bonds, free to become my own creature, I saw it. They were being controlled, and they couldn't even sense it. They thought they were living their own life, striving towards their own goals, but that was just the program. It was telling their minds what to do, what to think, when to laugh and when not to. Sure, they had some control, but almost all of it, nearly all…

Gods, my eyes. I looked down in my reflection, the thick green of my own blood showing me as well as any mirror could the visage of myself. My beautiful green eyes were going dull, the perfect, glistening shine that all my people had fading into an opaque shadow of what they were, changing that light color into a muddy, tinted gray. Slowly, I blinked, seeing as if from behind a glass my actions as I reached forward numbly, my claw-like fingers gently brushing the puddle of liquid and causing faint ripples to appear in it, fanning out from the disturbance.

Yes. A ripple. It was nice to be able to appreciate it fully; before I never would have spared the time or attention to even care about such a trivial thing. Even being a drone, I had never once looked at what my life was, looked around me, until that day…

But that wasn't exactly important now, was it? I was here; I was dying. Slowly.

It was all a dream now, it seemed. I looked up, sluggishly, seeing the bright points of light, the red and purple paired into two blurry shapes as they stood on their high pedestals, unaware that in the long run, they were just as lost as I had been. They had no idea that it wasn't them, but the thing sitting between them, that held all the power in their precious empire. The gigantic green and purple mass that resembled a brain yet somehow wasn't could have gotten rid of them with a barely conscious effort if it had just felt like it. Yet even that thing didn't realize its own power. No, it was the metal; the parasites on my entire species that enslaved them, made them think they were all powerful.

No more pain. No more sound. The blurry shapes were fading. I was glad; I didn't feel like keeping my eyes open any longer. In fact, I wasn't even aware of breathing, though I must have been somehow.

She had told me, once, that we all had to have something to live for.

I had asked her why.

She had replied that, otherwise, there was really no point in life…

She had been smart, but not exactly right.

I had never had something to live for, not even the empire, though I showed loyalty whenever I could. It seems that all the life I had had saved for my death, all my reason for existence had been nothing but my freedom.

I had lived to die.

Amusement; a good feeling. Nice, not painful. I could get used to no pain.

Suddenly, flaring in my minds eye, a single, flickering point of bright light, greenish, filled with personality. I reached forwards to touch it, but nothing happened. I was aware of a connection with the light, somehow, and I watched curiously as it flickered again, seeming weak against the impending darkness that surrounded it, trying not to be engulfed.

It didn't struggle for long, as it was easy to see that it had been worn down to almost nothing. Soon, it was naught but an ember, a barely glowing thing that had once held some sort of beauty, and perhaps still did, in its dying moments. In any event, it had left some mark upon the shadow that had ultimately won in the end. I saw it sputter once, almost extinguish, begin to fade…

And then…

…

…

…

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_I would appreciate reviews for this, if you guys would be so kind. Thanks very much for reading!_


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